A sea-captain once asserted that his "vessel was beautifully painted with a tall mast."

   In an account of travels we are assured that "a pearl was found by a sailor in a shell."

   A bill presented to a farmer ran thus: "To hanging two barn doors and myself, 4

    s.

   6

    d.

   "

   A store-keeper assures his customers that "the longest time and easiest terms are given by any other house in the city."

   Here is a curious evidence of philanthropy: "A wealthy gentleman will adopt a little boy with a small family."

   A parochial report states that "the town farm-house and almshouse have been carried on the past year to our reasonable satisfaction, especially the almshouse, at which there have been an unusual amount of sickness and three deaths."

   A Kansas paper thus ends a marriage notice: "The couple left for the East on the night train where they will reside."

   In the account of a shipwreck we find the following: "The captain swam ashore. So did the chambermaid; she was insured for a large sum and loaded with pig-iron."

   A notice at the entrance to a bridge asserts that "any person driving over this bridge in a faster pace than a walk shall, if a white person be fined five dollars, and if a negro receive twenty-five lashes, half the penalty to be bestowed on the informer."

   The following notice appeared on the west end of a country meeting-house: "Anybody sticking bills against this church will be prosecuted according to law or any other nuisance."

   A gushing but ungrammatical editor says: "We have received a basket of fine grapes from our friend ——, for which he will please accept our compliments, some of which are nearly one inch in diameter."

   On the panel under the letter-receiver of the General Post-Office, Dublin, these words are printed: "Post here letters too late for the next mail."

   An Ohio farmer is said to 

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