t'aint no use to say so, you only gets shut up.

   Got jawed at for a bit o' dirt in my rifle as you couldn't see. "Clean it again," ses our Leftenant. "I've cleaned the thing forty times," I ses. "Forty-one's your lucky number," 'e ses; "try again." Went for a stroll in the evenin', but these 'ere camps is too far away from anything to please me.

    Tuesday.

   —My day as Tent Orderly. I never see such a lot of chaps to grumble as our tent. Fust of all the bread warn't right, then I 'adn't got enough coffee, an' the bacon was done too much—why 'adn't I kicked up a row? "Look 'ere," I ses, "you bloomin' well take wot you gets, an' if you aint satisfied you complain to the off'cer of the day;

    'e

   won't stand much of yer lip. I know my work," I ses, "an' I done it."

   Had to peel a reg'lar pile of taters, twice as many as they ought to want. "There," I ses to our company cook, "'ow's that?" "Why, you've bin an' wasted nigh on 'arf of 'em," 'e ses. "An' then yer tent will be hollerin' out as I cheats 'em.

    I

   know 'em," 'e ses. An' sure enough they did, only it were the gravy as they didn't like this time. I shall be bloomin' glad when I'm a Sergint, an' 'as a mess to ourselves. 'Ad narrow shave of being late for p'rade. You aint got no time to spare when you're Orderly.

   Thought nothing would satisfy our off'cers to-day. We was trying all sorts of things like they does 'em at the war, an' we was fairly sick of it, but the Colonel 'e rides by an' sings out as we was the best company 'e'd seen that morning, so that was all right, an' we didn't mind being shoved about.

    Wednesday.

   —We was practised in advanced guard the first thing this morning, all the companies working separate. After a bit, I'm blowed if yer could tell what any of 'em was at, they was so mixed up. Afore we starts, our Captain 'e explains to us what we was supposed to do;

    'e

   may 'ave understood what 'e was drivin' at, but I'm blest if any of us did. 'Owever, after a bit I begins to see what we was meant to be doin', an' bimeby the Captain 'e tells me to take two men as a patrol to examine a wood as was near by. D'rectly we was out of sight one of 'em starts playin' the goat, till I gives 'im a 

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