throng of my feller sitterzens, who hurrard for Old Ward at the top
of their voises. I found the house chock full of peple. Thare was
Mis Square Baxter and her three grown-up darters, lawyer Perkinses
wife, Taberthy Ripley, young Eben Parsuns, Deakun Simmuns folks,
the Skoolmaster, Doctor Jordin, etsetterry, etsetterry. Mis Ward
was in the west room, which jines the kitchen. Mis Square Baxter
was mixin suthin in a dipper before the kitchin fire, & a small
army of female wimin were rushin wildly round the house with
bottles of camfire, peaces of flannil, &c. I never seed such a
hubbub in my natral born dase. I cood not stay in the west room
only a minit, so strung up was my feelins, so I rusht out and
ceased my dubbel barrild gun.

   "What upon airth ales the man?" sez Taberthy Ripley.  "Sakes alive,
what air you doin?" & she grabd me by the coat tales.  "What's the
matter with you?" she continnerd.

   "Twins, marm," sez I, "twins!"

   "I know it," sez she, coverin her pretty face with her apun.

   "Wall," sez I, "that's what's the matter with me!"

   "Wall, put down that air gun, you pesky old fool," sed she.

   "No, marm," sez I, "this is a Nashunal day. The glory of this here
day isn't confined to Baldinsville by a darn site. On yonder
woodshed," sed I, drawin myself up to my full hite and speakin in a
show-actin voice, "will I fire a Nashunal saloot!" sayin whitch I
tared myself from her grasp and rusht to the top of the shed whare
I blazed away until Square Baxter's hired man and my son Artemus
Juneyer cum and took me down by mane force.

   On returnin to the Kitchin I found quite a lot of peple seated be4
the fire, a talkin the event over. They made room for me & I sot
down.  "Quite a eppisode," sed Docter Jordin, litin his pipe with a
red-hot coal.

   "Yes," sed I, "2 eppisodes, waying abowt 18 pounds jintly."

 Prev. P 9/70 next