Chorus, Um!

   GLADIATOR, Dying, another brave artists' model.

   GLADSTONE, W. E., a grand old man who twice premiered England, chopped trees, and failed to make accurate measurements with the Irish home rule.

   GLYNN, E., an old maid authoress who knew things. Wrote a book which everybody tells the rector they have not read, and then re-reads it when the doors are locked. In the United States a law has been passed compelling booksellers to include a bottle of disinfectant whenever a G. book is sold. Ambition: A publisher who is not afraid of the police. Recreation: Reading her own books. Address: Probably Paris. Clubs: Always blackballed.

   GOAT, T. H. E., the one who purchased this book.

   GODIVA, Lady, horsewoman whose costume rivalled many exhibited at the Paris horseshow. Many said her habit was out of sight.

   GOETHE, a Dutchman who succeeded in making a few German words rhyme.

   GOLIATH, ancient heavyweight champion, who was knocked out in one round by a lightweight. Defeat attributed to overconfidence. Friends said nothing like that had ever entered his head.

   GOODWIN, Nathaniel, an American who was opposed to Mormonism, but who adopted it on a progressive and newspaper scale.

   GOOSE, Mother, a fine old lady who was loved by all, but who told some awful untruths to the innocent.

   GORDON, I. L., editor of Who Was Who. Probably the greatest writer who ever lived. Spent early childhood in infancy. At the age of fourteen began shaving and wearing long trousers. At twenty-one G. was considered of age. Began writing while a child. Penmanship so poor he took to the typewriter. Wrote Who Was Who with hope someone would purchase it. Some one did. Ambition: (He considers this personal and will not be quoted.) Recreation: Looking for publishers. Address: Paris when financially able. Other times in one of those confounded newspaper offices.

   GORKY, M., a resident of Russia who became unpopular with the government and moved. He endeavored to make a lecture tour of the United States accompanied by another man's wife. Learned that this was not the usual custom in America. His managers and hotel proprietors requested him to continue his travels. Ambition: A czarless Russia; less fussy people. Publications: Much unpatriotic 

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