Fire. With a mighty army of politicians, who also wanted to get back, R. started his campaign with such a huge band he could not hear any others. The fight was based on telling the voters how easily they had been deceived four years earlier in what he had told them concerning that "molycoddle Taft." R. was elected by the greatest majority in history until the ballots were hatched. Later he joined the ranks of William Jennings Bryan. Publications: The "I" books. Ambition: To get back into Who's Who and Washington. Address: The Outlook. Oyster Bay for newspapermen. Clubs: Founder of the Ananias. Epitaph: Same as Bryan's.

   ROTHSCHILDS, the Morgan-Rockefellers of Europe without quite as much money.

   ROY, Robert, a very wicked Scotchman whom we all hope will always escape the police.

   RUBENS, P. P., an artist who realized styles frequently changed, and therefore painted fat people without their clothes.

   RUSSE, Charlotte, a pleasant creature, but one who sometimes caused pain after a visit.

   RUSSIA, T. H. E., Czar of, an anti-bomb loving monarch with modern subjects and a tenth-century brain. His childhood was spent in a steel-lined cage, guarded by the army and the fleet. He was crowned in a bomb-proof church by a thoroughly searched clergyman, only the crown, the crowner, and the crowned being present to witness the ceremony. Seldom goes about the country, as he fears the heartfelt expressions of his subjects. In 1908 he became mixed up with Japan. Is now economizing. Ambition: Only life. Recreation: Dissolving Doumas. signing death warrants. Address: Large packages are always opened by the servants. Send letters care St. Petersburg police department. Clubs: Army. Epitaph: It Is A Wonder He Did Not Have This Long Ago.

   SALOME, a celebrated dancer who could fill the largest opera houses in the world with bald heads, opera glasses, and jealous women. She is still in Who's Who, and probably will remain there until arrested.

   SAM, Uncle, a tall, lean, good-natured rich man who sets paces and spends his money. Born July 4, 1776, S. Great Britain. Godfathered by France. Was an impetuous baby. Education: School of experience at Washington. S. was assisted in early life by a number of men who took an interest in him. When thirty-six years of age he chastised his mother, but later became on excellent terms. Went in for land and colonization business. Succeeded. At the age of eighty-four S. suffered from a severe 

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