Coaching, hair pulling, a proud father. Address: See Mother.

   BACCHUS, patron saint of most men, benefactor, a jolly good fellow, and the founder of the "morning after" feeling. Studied vine raising when a young man. Discovered that grapes were not intended for a food. Invented the greatest pleasure and pain giver the world has ever seen. Became a traveler. Introduced ale and stout in England, whiskey in Scotland, everything in Ireland, cocktails and patent medicines in the United States, beer in Germany, champagne in France, absinthe in France, and vodka in Russia. Career: Magnificent. Recreation: Paris. Address: Greece. Clubs: All, except W. C. T. U. Epitaph: He Will Live In The Throats Of His Countrymen.

   BACON, Francis, either wrote or did not write Shakespeare.

   BAEDEKER, Karl, one of the most versatile men who ever lived. Childhood and old age unknown. Formed an ambition to travel when quite young. First visited Switzerland, where he climbed every peak, walked every path, hired every guide, and did everything a tourist should so. His field of travel widened until every country in Europe was visited, as well as the United States, Canada, Alaska, and Mexico. In these lands he slept in every hotel, ate every dish in every restaurant, drank every wine, rode on every boat, tramway, subway, and train; visited every ruin, museum, art gallery, church, store; mastered every language, science, art, literature, custom, history, and drew maps and plans of everything. Publications: Baedekers. Recreation: Staying at home. Ambition: Tourists. Residence: Germany.

   BALFOUR, Arthur James, of England, one time leader of the talking forces of the House of Commons. Ambition: Opposition seats on both sides of the house, and an epitaph over the home rule bill. Recreation: St. Andrew's golf and writing deep books.

   BALZAC, H., a Frenchman who wrote a few Parisian stories which may be discussed in respectable company.

   BARBAROSSA, Kaiser, the only emperor of Germany who ever went to sleep.

   BARKIS. Fame rested only upon his complete willingness.

   BARLEYCORN, John, an eminent citizen of the world. Spent early days in the fields, breweries, and distilleries. Later resided in cellars. John had a red nose. Was a great friend of Bacchus. He was a "wasser," he is an "iser," and he will be a "will be-er." Ambition: The end of temperance societies.

 Prev. P 5/57 next