wrote books and shot pigeons between march compositions.

   SPENCER, Herbert, a scientist who believed the human race degenerated from monkeys, and established the theory that only the survivors are the fittest.

   SUFFRAGETTE, T. H. E., a woman who lived years ago in Great Britain and the United States, who believed that noble man was incompetent, incomplete, incompatible, incongruent, inconsistent, and an incubus in his incurious incumbency. She was the daughter of Too Much Time and Too Much Money. Early days spent at home. She married and began her career. S.'s first weakness was a club. Then she fell to the level of a speech maker and a flag carrier. The fanatical desire to see her name in print led to the adoption of strenuous press-agent tactics. She died fighting. Ambition: To offset her husband's vote on election day. Recreation: Parading, windows, bombs, letter boxes, English ministries, and a string of etcs. Epitaph: Requiescat In Pace. (Also see Mrs. Pankhurst and Hope.)

   SUFFRAGETTE, T. H. E. Anti-, still lives, but is dying fast. Belongs to the moss-back half of femininity. Has serious objection to use of her head, except for decorative purposes. Was not averse to press notices and looked with envy on the achievements of the suffragettes in this direction. Being denied high office in their ranks because of lack of adequate cerebration, she set up a rival organization where brains were not requisite. Entertains the utterly absurd idea that all women, except herself, belong at home with their husbands and children. Where they belong in the absence of these, deponent sayeth not. Ambition: Continued parasitic existence. Recreation: Manufacturing evidence and tagging on behind. Address: Wherever there are suffrage meetings. Epitaph: Alas! The World Does Move And She Was "Agin It."

   SULZER, William, the kettle who called Murphy black. Also the governor of New York who enjoyed the unprecedented honor of retiring from office in order that he might be considered a progressive. Motto: Be sure your sins will get you out. Ambition: To be a martyr to the claws. Diet: Tigers. Epitaph: You May Air, You May Perfume Your Clothes As You Will, But The Smell Of Impeachment Will Cling To You Still.

   TAFT, William Howard, a former fat, and last Republican, president of the United States who worshipped the trusts, the Constitution, the Supreme Court, and Theodore Roosevelt. The love he bore the latter resulted in his election. The two brothers quarreled because Bill would not step aside and let Teddy run things all over 

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