wanted. Author: Of tears. Recreation: Reaping. Address: Your home. Epitaph: Ad Finem.

   TINTORETTO, a Venetian painting manufacturer. Together with P. P. Rubens he held the record for covering canvas and wearing out brushes. Recreation: He never had any.

   TITIAN, another painter of Venice. His works have always been popular with the men. They are exhibited in all European galleries, and cause consternation among clergymen and school teachers. T. certainly could paint. Ambition: Models. Recreation: Models.

   TOLSTOY, a voice out of the dark.

   TOM. (See Richard and Harry.)

   TOM, Uncle, an old negro actor who appeared in every city, town, village, and hamlet in the United States north of the Confederate States. His history was written by Mrs. H. B. Stowe, and was the match which kindled the Civil War. The Northerners have since learned that all negroes are not Uncle Toms, and are wondering whether any mistakes were made back in 1861.

   TOURISTS, T. H. E., a man and woman who carried a camera, bought post-cards, read Baedekers, visited Cook's office, rode in carriages, and then told their friends all about the trip. Ambition: Just one look at everything. Address: Principally Europe. Epitaph: They Came, They Saw, They Vanished.

   TROY, Helen of, a peach of a girl who eloped with a man and caused the longest siege in history to make her elope back again.

   TURNER, J. M. W., an English painter whose paint exploded on canvas.

   TWAIN, Mark, an American who wore long white hair, made after-dinner speeches, received university degrees, and made people laugh.

   TWINS, Siamese, two men who were closer than brothers.

   TWIST, Oliver, one of those unfortunates whose history had to be divulged for the financial gain of a great writer and many theatrical mangers.

   UFFIZI, an Italian who prevented scores of the old masters from starving to death by filling his house in Florence with their canvases. Since the Morgan art raid the market price has advanced and U.'s investment has become profitable.

   ULYSSES, warrior, inventor, and traveler. Sprang into fame at the siege of Troy, where he invented the horse which recaptured Helen. Escaped from Polyphemus, a one-eyed giant, by sticking a burning telegraph pole in 

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