The Turkish Jester or, The Pleasantries of Cogia Nasr Eddin Effendi
the Cogia roasted a goose, and set out in order to carry it to the Emperor. On the way, feeling very hungry, he cut off one leg and ate it. Coming into the presence of the Emperor, he placed the goose before him. On seeing it, Tamerlank said to himself, ‘The Cogia is making game of me,’ and was very angry, and demanded, ‘How happens it that this goose has but one foot?’ Said the Cogia, ‘In our country all the geese have only one foot. If you disbelieve me, look at the geese by the side of that fountain.’ Now at that time there was a flock of geese by the rim of the fountain, all of whom were standing on one leg. Timour instantly ordered that all the drummers should at once play up; the drummers began to strike with their sticks, and forthwith all the geese stood on both legs. On Timour saying, ‘Don’t you see that they have two legs?’ the Cogia replied, ‘If you keep up that drumming you yourself will presently have four.’

   Cogia Efendi, now at rest with God, having been made Cadi, two individuals came before him, one of whom said, ‘This fellow nearly bit my ear off.’ The other said, ‘Not so: I did not bite it, but he bit his own ear.’ The Cogia said, ‘Come again in a little time and I will give you an answer.’ The men went away, and the Cogia, going into a private place, seized hold of his ear. ‘I can’t bite it,’ said he. Then trying to rise from the ground, on which he had seated himself, he fell back and broke a part of his head. Forthwith wrapping a piece of cloth round his head,

   he went back and sat in his place. The two men coming and asking for his decision, the Cogia said, ‘No man can bite his own ear; but, if he tries, may fall down and break his head.’

   Once as the Cogia was lying in bed, at midnight a noise was heard in the street before the door. Said the Cogia to his wife, ‘Get up and light a candle, and I will go and see.’ ‘You had better stay within,’ said his wife. But the Cogia, without heeding his wife, put the counterpane on his shoulders and went out. A fellow perceiving him, instantly snatched the counterpane from off his shoulders and ran away. The Cogia, shivering with cold, went in again; and when his wife asked him the cause of the noise, he said, ‘It was on account of our counterpane: when they got that the noise ceased at once.’

   One day the Cogia’s wife said to him, ‘Nurse this child for a little time, for I have a little business to see after.’ The Cogia, taking the child, sat with him upon his lap. Presently, however, the child p--- upon the Cogia; whereupon the Cogia, getting up, p--- over the child, from head to foot. 
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