57 57 VII Togo in Bachelor’s Hall To Editor Good Housekeeper Magazine, who must believe in shooing bachelors from neat homes with other flies and mice. Dear Mr. Sir:—If you make inquiry for me at home of Hon. C. J. McGumm, Philadelphia, N. J., please do not go there, because needless to find me where I no longer am. I changed my mind from that job of employment for reason I say here. Dear Mr. Sir Hon. Mrs. C. J. McGumm are blondface lady of considerable young years and very goodhousekeeping mind. Her Hon. Husband (of similar name) are the only untidiness she cannot sweep off from carpet when attacking cleanliness. “Why are you so rubbish, Hon. Darling?” she require each nightfall when he retreat home from office with tired business appearance. “When you are in house all furniture cease to act obedient like it should and everything become deranged apart. Door-knob then become hat-rack for your derby, your coat wanders to sofa and fall asleep, while shoes will be found under piano kicking mud.” 58 58 He act entirely sugar to her. He reply to her inquiries by kissing expression of mustache, and they talk dove-dove language, which explain everything by not doing so. But at lastly explodes came. “Must marriage always be a cyclone?” she require one morning a.m. when he threw newspaper in gas-log with negligée expression. “Hon. Heartsweet!” he snuggest, “I wish be comfortable in my own home.” “So ha!” Weeps enjoyed by her. “Then you do not love me some more!” “Why is?” he repostulate. “Must I prove adoration by acting miserable around house?” “You are becoming more detached from me each day, I notice,” she lamentalize. “I can tell by your easy, smiling manner that you think of me too seldom. You
Prev.
Back
Top