Of Gaius, Caius, Saul,

    Of Andrew, François, Ivan, Herman,

    Of Caspar, Jasper, Peter, Paul.

    Still grandpa stuck for Nehemiah,

    And grandma ventured Jedediah.

    From Aaron down to Zeph we went,

    But Fate is so contrary!

    For after the august event

    The name we really chose was Mary!

    Though grandma much preferred Maria,

    And grandpa rooted for Sophia.

   The Fable of the Hoosier Bill of Fare and How the

   Women Folks Cooked Up Things for

   the Well-known Citizen.

   Once upon a Time there was a Hired Hand who felt that he was cut out to be Somebody. Among the Agriculturists he was said to be too dosh-burned Toney because he wore gloves when he Toiled and on Sundays put on a slew of Agony, with sheet-iron Shoes pointed at the End and a neat Derby purchased in Terry Hut.

   Now this Freckled Swain, whose name was Ransom, wanted to hop on the Inter-Reuben and go zipping away to see the Great World. He wanted to live in a Big Town where he would not have to walk on the Ploughed Ground and where he could get something Good to Eat. He was tired of the plain Vittles out on the Farm. They very seldom had anything on the Table except Chicken with Gravy, Salt-Rising Bread, Milk, seven or eight Vegetables, Crulls, Cookies, Apple Butter, Whortleberry Pie, Light Biscuit, Spare Ribs, Pig's Feet, Hickory Nut Cake and such like. This thing of drawing up every A. M. to the same old Lay Out of home-made Sausage, Buckwheat Cakes, Recent Eggs, Fried Mush and Mother's Coffee 

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