The Comic Latin Grammar A new and facetious introduction to the Latin tongue
     intermediate

    between that of the two vowels of which each is formed. This fact may perhaps be impressed upon the mind, on the principles of artificial memory, by a reference to a familiar beverage, known by the name of half-and-half. In like manner, ei, which is generally pronounced i, and æ and œ, sounded like e,

    may be said to exhibit something like an analogy to a married couple. The human diphthong, Smith female + Brown male, is called Brown only.

    The reason, says the fool in King Lear, why the seven stars are no more than seven—is a pretty reason—because they are not eight. This is a fool’s reason; but we (like many other commentators) cannot give a better one, why the Parts of Speech are no more than eight—because they are not nine. They are as follow:

    1. Noun, Pronoun, Verb, Participle—declined.

    2. Adverb, Preposition, Conjunction, Interjection—undeclined. Most schoolboys would like to decline them altogether.

    A noun is a name,—whether it be a Christian name, or a sur-name—the name of a prince, a pig, a pancake, or a post. Whatever is—is a noun.

    Nouns are divided into substantives and adjectives.

    A noun substantive is its own trumpeter, and speaks for itself without assistance from any other word—brassica, a cabbage; sartor, a tailor; medicus, a physician; vetula, an old woman; venenum,

     poison

    ; are examples of substantives.

    An adjective is like an infant in leading strings—it cannot go alone. It always requires to be joined to a substantive, of which it shows the nature or quality—as lectio longa, a long lesson; magnus aper, a great

     boar

    ; pinguis puer, a fat boy; macer puer, a lean boy. In making love (as you will find

    one of these days) or in abusing a cab-man, your success will depend in no small degree in your choice of adjectives.

    Be not alarmed, boys, at the above heading. There are numbers of nouns, it is true, that is to say, lots; or, as we say in the schools, “a precious sight” of nouns in the dictionary; but we are not now going to enumerate, and make you learn them. The numbers of nouns 
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