to keep tab on was ol' fashioned bullets an' big, bouncin' iron balls."

   "Thrue," said Mr. Dooley. "I don't know th' reason, but it mus' be that
th' betther gun a man has th' more he thrusts th' gun an' th' less he
thrusts himsilf. He stays away an' shoots. He says to himsilf, he says:
'They'se nawthin' f'r me to do,' he says, 'but load up me little lyddite
cannon with th' green goods,' he says, 'an' set here at the organ,' he
says, 'pull out th' stops an' paint th' town iv Pretoria green,' he
says. 'But,' he says, 'on sicond thought, suppose th' inimy shud hand it
back to me,' he says. 'Twud be oncomfortable,' he says. 'So,' he says,
'I'll jus' move me music back a mile,' he says, 'an' peg away, an' th'
longest gun takes th' persimmons,' he says. 'Tis this way: If ye an' I
fall out an' take rifles to each other, 'tis tin to wan nayether iv us
gets clost enough to hit. If we take pistols th' odds is rayjooced. If
we take swords I may get a hack at ye, but if we take a half-nelson lock
'tis even money I have ye'er back broke befure th' polis comes."

   "I can see in me mind th' day whin explosives'll be so explosive an'
guns'll shoot so far that on'y th' folks that stay at home'll be kilt,
an' life insurance agents'll be advisin' people to go into th' ar-rmy. I
can so. 'Tis thrue what Hogan says about it."

   "What's that?" Mr. Hennessy asked.

   "Th' nation," said Mr. Dooley, "that fights with a couplin' pin extinds
its bordhers at th' cost iv th' nation that fights with a clothes pole."

   "Well, sir," said Mr. Dooley, "tis a fine rayciption th' Boer dillygates
is havin' in this counthry."

   "They'll be out here nex' week," said Mr. Hennessy.

   "They will that," Mr. Dooley replied, "an' we'll show thim that our
inthrest in small raypublics fightin' f'r their liberty ain't
disappeared since we become an impeeryal nation. No, sir. We have as
much inthrest as iver, but we have more inthrests elsewhere."

   "Oom Paul, he says to th' la-ads: 'Go,' he says, 'to me good an' great
frind, Mack th' Wanst, an' lay th' case befure him,' he says. 'Tell
him,' he says, 'that th' situation is just th' same as it was durin'

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