Wash'nton's time,' he says, 'on'y Wash'nton won, an' we're rapidly
losin' kopjes till we soon won't have wan to sthrike a match on,' he
says. An' off goes th' good men. Whin they started the Boers was doin'
pretty well, Hinnissy. They were fightin' Englishmen, an' that's a lawn
tinnis to a rale fightin' man. But afther awhile the murdherin' English
gover'mint put in a few recreent but gallant la-ads fr'm th' ol' dart—
we ought to be proud iv thim, curse thim—Pat O'Roberts, an' Mike
McKitchener, an' Terrence O'Fr-rinch—an' they give th' view—halloo an'
wint through th' Dutch like a party comin' home fr'm a fifteenth iv
August picnic might go through a singerbund. So be th' time th'
dillygates got to Europe it was: 'James, if thim br-rave but misguided
Dutch appears, squirt th' garden hose on thim. I'll see th' British
embassadure this afthernoon.' Ye see, Hinnissy, 'twas ol' Kruger's play
to keep on winnin' battles till th' dillygates had their say. Th' amount
iv sympathy that goes out f'r a sthrugglin' people is reg'lated,
Hinnissy, be th' amount iv sthrugglin' th' people can do. Th' wurruld,
me la-ad, is with th' undher dog on'y as long as he has a good hold an'
a chanst to tur-rn over."

   "Well, sir, whin th' dillygates see they cudden't do business in Europe,
says they to thimsilves: 'We'll pike acrost th' ragin' sea,' they says,
'an in th' home iv Wash'nton, Lincoln, an' Willum J. Bryan, ye bet we'll
have a hearin',' an' they got wan. Ivrybody's listenin' to thim. But no
wan replies. If they'd come here three months ago, befure Crownjoy was
suffocated out iv his hole in th' groun', they'd be smokin' their pipes
in rockin' chairs on th' veranda iv th' white house an' passin' th'
bucket between thim an' Mack. But 'tis diff'rent now. 'Tis diff'rent
now. Says Willum J. Bryan: 'I can't see thim mesilf, f'r it may not be
long befure I'll have to dale with these inthricate problems, I hope an'
pray, but Congressman Squirtwather, do ye disguise ye'ersilf as a
private citizen an' go down to th' hotel an' tell these la-ads that I'm
with thim quietly if public opinyon justifies it an' Mack takes th'
other side. Tell thim I frequently say to mesilf that they're all r-
right, but I wudden't want it to go further. Perhaps they cud be
injooced to speak at a dimmycratic meetin' unbeknown to me,' he says.

   "Sicrety Hay meets thim in a coal cellar, wearin' a mask. 'Gintlemen,'
says he, 'I can assure ye th' prisidint an' mesilf feels mos' deeply f'r
ye. I needn't tell ye about mesilf,' he says. 'Haven't I sint me own son

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