gover'mint? 'What,' says Lady what's-her-name (her that was th' daughter
iv wan iv our bravest an' best racontoors). 'What.' she says, 'will anny
American woman residin' in London see men shot down,' she says, 'that
has but recently played polo in our very sight,' she says, 'an' be
brought home in mere thransports,' she says. 'Ladies,' she says, 'lave
us equip a hospital ship,' she says. 'I thrust,' she says, 'that all iv
us has been long enough fr'm home to f'rget our despicable domestic
struggles,' she says, 'an' think on'y iv humanity,' she says. An' whin
she opens up th' shop f'r subscriptions ye'd think fr'm th' crowd that
'twas th' first night iv th' horse show. I don't know what Lem Stiggins
iv Kansas, marked down in th' roll, Private in th' Twintieth Kansas,
Severely, I don't know what Private Severely thinks iv it. An' I wuddent
like to know till afther Thanks-givin'."

   "Don't be blatherin'," said Mr. Hennessy. "Sure ye can't ixpict people
to be inthrested f'river in a first performance."

   "No," said Mr. Dooley, "but whin th' audjeence gives th' comp'ny an
encore it ought at laste to pretind that it's not lavin' f'r th' other
show."

   "If th' Presidint doesn't step in an' interfere," said Mr. Hennessy,
"they'll be bloodshed in Kentucky."

   "What business is it iv Mack's?" Mr. Dooley protested. "Th' war's in
this counthry, man alive! If 'twas in Boolgahria or Chiny or on th' head
waters iv th' Bozoon river in th' sooltynate iv—iv—I dinnaw what—
thin'twud be th' jooty iv our gover'mint f'r to resolve that th'
inthrests iv humanity an' civilization an' th' advancement iv th' human
kind required that we shud step in an' put a head on wan or both iv th'
parties. But they'se no reason now, me boy, f'r us to do annything, f'r
these are our own people, an' 'tis wan iv their rights, undher th'
martial law that's th' foundation iv our institutions, to bate each
other to death whiniver an' whereiver they plaze. 'Twud be all r-right
f'r the Impror Willum to come in an' take a hand, but Gawd help him if
he did, or th' Prsidint iv th' Fr-rinch or th' Impror iv Chiny. 'Twud be
all r-right f'r thim. An' though we might meet thim at th' dure an' hand
thim wan f'r their impydince, we'd be in th' wrong. Twud be a good job
f'r Aggynaldoo, too, if he cud find himsilf an' had th' time 

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