ye saw a man fall ivry fifteen minyits ye'd go home afther awhile f'r
supper an' ye wuddent even mintion it to ye'er wife."

   "I don't know how manny heroes they ar-re in th' Philippeens. Down there
a man is ayether a sojer or a casualty. Bein' a casualty is no good. I
cud say about a man: 'He was a hero in th' war with Spain,' but how can
I say: 'Shake hands with Bill Grady, wan iv th' ladin' casualties iv our
late war?' 'Twud be no more thin to say he was wan iv th' gallant men
that voted f'r prisidint in 1896.'"

   [Illustration]

   "No, Hinnissy, people wants novelties in war. Th' war fashions iv 1898
is out iv style. They ar-re too full in th' waist an' too long in th'
skirt. Th' style has changed. There ar-re fifty thousand backward men in
th' fair isles iv th' Passyfic fightin' to free th' Philippeen fr'm
himsilf an' becomin' a casualty in th' operation, but no one is
charterin' ar-rmy hospital ships f'r thim."

   "No one is convartin' anny steam yachts f'r thim. No wan is sindin'
eighty tons iv plum puddin' to complete th' wurruk iv destruction.
They ar-re in a war that'd make th' British throops in Africa think
they were drillin' f'r a prize banner. But'tis an onfashionable war.'
'Tis an ol' war made over fr'm garments formerly worn be heroes. Whin
a man is out in th' counthry with wan newspaper an' has read th'
authentic dispatches fr'm Ladysmith an' Harrismith an' Willumaldensmith
an' Mysteriousbillysmith an' the meetin' iv th' czar iv Rooshia with th'
Impror Willum an' th' fire in th' packin' house an' th' report iv th'
canal thrustees an' th' fightin' news an' th' want ads, an' afther he
has r-read thim over twinty times he looks at his watch an' says he,
'Holy smoke, 'tis two hours to thrain time an' I suppose I'll have to r-
read th' news fr'm th' Philippeens.' War, be hivins, is so common that I
believe if we was to take on a fight with all th' wurruld not more thin
half th' popylation iv New England'd die iv hear-rt disease befure they
got into th' cellars."

   "Th' new style iv war is made in London an' all our set is simply stuck
on it. Th' casualties in th' Philippeens can walk home, but is it
possible that many thrue an' well-dhressed American can stand to see th'
signs iv th' ancient British aristocracy taken care iv be their own

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