"Thin," said Mr. Hennessy, "ye'er frind Roberts ought to move to what-
d'ye-call-th' place."

   "That's what I'm thinkin'," said Mr. Dooley. "But 'tis too bad f'r him
he was bor-rn at home."

   Mr. Dooley put his paper aside and pushed his spectacles up on his
forehead. "Well," he said, "I suppose, afther all, we're th' mos'
lively nation in th' wurruld. It doesn't seem many months ago since ye,
Hinnissy, was down at th' depot cheerin' th' departin' heroes——"

   "I niver was," said Mr. Hennessey. "I stayed at home."

   "Since ye was down cheerin' th' departin' heroes," Mr. Dooley continued,
"an' thryin' to collect what they owed ye. Th' papers was full iv news
iv th' war. Private Jawn Thomas Bozoom iv Woonsocket, a mimber iv th'
gallant an' devoted Wan Hundhred an' Eighth Rhode Island, accidentally
slipped on a orange peel while attimptin' to lave th' recruitin' office
an' sustained manny con-tu-sions. He rayfused to be taken home an'
insisted on jinin' his rig'mint at th' rayciption in th' fair groun's.
Gallant Private Bozoom! That's th' stuff that American heroes ar-re made
iv. Ye find thim at th' forge an' at th' plough, an' dhrivin' sthreet
cars, an' ridin' in th' same. The favored few has th' chanst to face th'
bullets iv th'inimy. 'Tis f'r these unknown pathrites to prove that a
man can sarve his counthry at home as well as abroad. Private Bozoom
will not be f'rgot be his fellow-counthrymen. A rayciption has been
arranged f'r him at th' Woonsocket op'ry-house, an' 'tis said if he will
accipt it, th' vote iv th' State iv Rhode Island'll be cast f'r him f'r
prisidint. 'Tis at such times as this that we reflict that th' wurruld
has wurruk f'r men to do, an' mere politicians mus' retire to th' rear."

   "That was a few months ago. Where's Bozoom now? If iver ye go to
Woonsocket, Hinnissy, which Gawd f'rbid, ye'll find him behind th'
counther iv th' grocery store ladlin' out rutabaga turnips into a brown
paper cornucopy an' glad to be alive. An' 'tis tin to wan, an' more thin
that, that th' town humorist has named him th' orange-peel hero, an'
he'll go to his grave with that name. Th' war is over an' th' state iv
war exists. If ye saw a man fall fr'm th' top iv a tin-story buildin'
'twud startle ye, wanst. If it happened again, 'twud surprise ye. But if

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