"If the window is shut," the other announced, "I shall certainly suffocate." The two glared at each other.

   The conductor was at a loss, but he welcomed the words of a man with a red nose who sat near. These were:

   "First, open the window, conductor. That will kill one. Next, shut it. That will kill the other. Then we can have peace."

   A young couple that had received many valuable wedding presents established their home in a suburb. One

   morning they received in the mail two tickets for a popular show in the city, with a single line:

   "Guess who sent them."

   The pair had much amusement in trying to identify the donor, but failed in the effort. They duly attended the theatre, and had a delightful time. On their return home late at night, still trying to guess the identity of the unknown host, they found the house stripped of every article of value. And on the bare table in the dining-room was a piece of paper on which was written in the same hand as the enclosure with the tickets:

   "Now you know!"

   Jeanette was wearing a new frock when her dearest friend called.

   "I look a perfect fright," she remarked, eager for praise.

   The dearest friend was thinking of her own affairs, and answered absent-mindedly:

   "Yes, you certainly do."

   "Oh, you horrid thing!" Jeanette gasped. "I'll never—never speak to you again!"

   In Bret Harte's

    Mary McGillup

   , there is a notable description of calmness in most trying circumstances.

   "'I have the honor of addressing the celebrated Rebel spy, Miss McGillup?'" asked the vandal officer.

   "In a moment I was perfectly calm. With the exception of slightly expectorating twice in the face of the minion I did not betray my agitation."

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