Jokes For All Occasions Selected and Edited by One of America's Foremost Public Speakers
saints—for we read that 'he did eat at the King's table continually.'"

   During the worst of the spy-scare period in London a man was brought into the police station, who declared indignantly that he was a well-known American citizen. But his captor denounced him as a German, and offered as proof the hotel register, which he had brought along. He pointed to the signature of the accused. It read:

   "V. Gates."

   The tramp was sitting with his back to a hedge by the wayside, munching at some scraps wrapped in a newspaper. A lady, out walking with her pet Pomeranian, strolled past. The little dog ran to the tramp, and tried to muzzle the food. The tramp smiled expansively on the lady.

   "Shall I throw the leetle dog a bit, mum?" he asked.

   The lady was gratified by this appearance of kindly interest in her pet, and murmured an assent. The tramp caught the dog by the nape of the neck and tossed it over the hedge, remarking:

   "And if he comes back, mum, I might throw him a bit more."

   *    *    *

   Many a great man has been given credit as originator of this cynical sentiment:

   "The more I see of men, the more I respect dogs."

   *    *    *

   The fox terrier regarded with curious interest the knot tied in the tail of the dachshund.

   "What's the big idea?" he inquired.

   "That," the dachshund answered, "is a knot my wife tied to make me remember an errand."

   The fox terrier wagged his stump of tail thoughtfully.

   "That," he remarked at last, "must be the reason I'm so forgetful."

   *    *    *

   During the siege of Paris in the Franco-German war, when everybody was starving, one aristocratic family had their pet dog served for dinner. The master of the house, when the meal was ended, surveyed the platter through tear-dimmed eyes, and spoke sadly:


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