"How Fido would have enjoyed these bones!" * * * The young clergyman during a parochial call noticed that the little daughter of the hostess was busy with her slate while eying him closely from time to time. "And what are you doing, Clara?" he asked, with his most engaging smile. "I'm drawing a picture of you," was the answer. The clerical visitor sat very still to facilitate the work of the artist. But, presently, Clara shook her head in discouragement. "I don't like it much," she confessed. "I guess I'll put a tail on it, and call it a dog." * * * The meditative Hollander delivered a monologue to his dog: "You vas only a dog, but I vish I vas you. Ven you go your bed in, you shust turn round dree times and lie down; ven I go de bed in, I haf to lock up the blace, and vind up de clock, and put out de cat, and undress myself, and my vife vakes up and scolds, and den de baby vakes and cries and I haf to valk him de house around, and den maybe I get myself to bed in time to get up again. "Ven you get up you shust stretch yourself, dig your neck a little, and you vas up. I haf to light de fire, put on de kiddle, scrap some vit my vife, and get myself breakfast. You be lays round all day and haf blenty of fun. I haf to vork all day and have blenty of drubble. Ven you die, you vas dead; ven I die, I haf to go somewhere again." * * * Some persons are born to have honor thrust upon them, and such is obviously the case of the actor named in this story. The colored maid of an actress took out for exercise her mistress's dog, a splendid St. Bernard. A passer-by admired the animal, and inquired as to the breed. The maid said: "I doan jes' zactly know mahself, but I dun hear my missis say he am a full-blood Sam Bernard." After a trip abroad, a lady inquired of her colored washerwoman: "Lucy, do you and your husband quarrel now the
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