"What about her father? Did he catch you?"

   "Just that!" quoth the bridegroom grimly. "Incidentally, I may add that the old boy is living with us still."

   The darky's clothes were in the last stages of dilapidation, and he wore open work shoes, but his face was radiant, and he whistled merrily as he slouched along the street. A householder called from his porch:

   "Sam, I have a job for you, if you want to earn a quarter."

   The tattered colored man grinned happily as he shook his head.

   "No, suh, thank yoh all de same, boss—I done got a quarter."

   In an Irish cemetery stands a handsome monument with an inscription which runs thus:

   "This monument is erected to the memory of James

   O'Flinn, who was accidentally shot by his brother as a mark of affection."

   The prisoner, a darky, explained how it came about that he had been arrested for chicken-stealing:

   "I didn't hab no trouble wiv de constable ner nobody. It would ab been all right if it hadn't been fer the women's love o' dress. My women folks, dey wasn't satisfied jes' to eat mos' all o' them chickens. Dey had to put de feathers in der hats, an' parade 'em as circumstantial evidence."

   *    *    *

   The smug satisfaction of the rustic in his clear perception and shrewd reasoning is illustrated by the dialogue between two farmers meeting on the road.

   "Did you hear that old man Jones's house burned down last night?"

   "I ain't a mite surprised. I was goin' past there in the evenin', an' when I saw the smoke a-comin' out all round under the eaves, I sez to myself, sez I, 'Where there's smoke there must be fire.' An' so it was!"

   *    *    *

   "Shall I leave the hall light burning, ma'am?" the servant asked.

   "No," her mistress replied. "I think my husband won't get home until daylight. He kissed me goodbye before he went, and gave me twenty dollars for a new hat."

   One of the New York churches is notorious 

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