for its exclusiveness. A colored man took a fancy to the church, and promptly told the minister that he wished to join. The clergyman sought to evade the issue by suggesting to the man that he reflect more carefully on the matter, and make it the subject of prayers for guidance. The following day, the darky encountered the minister. "Ah done prayed, sah," he declared, beaming, "an' de Lawd he done sent me an answer las' night." "And what was it?" queried the clergyman, somewhat at a loss. "What did the Lord say?" "Well, sah, He done axed me what chu'ch Ah wanted to jine, an' Ah tole Him it was yourn. An' He says: 'Ho, ho, dat chu'ch!' says he. 'You can't git in dere. Ah know you can't—'cause Ah been tryin' to git in dat chu'ch fer ten years mahself an' Ah couldn't!'" An Irishman on a scaffolding four stories high heard the noon whistle. But when he would have descended, he found that the ladder had been removed. One of his fellow workmen on the pavement below, to whom he called, explained that the foreman had carried off the ladder for another job. "But how'll I get down?" Pat demanded. Mike, on the pavement, suggested jumping as the only means. Pat's lunch was below, he was hungry, and he accepted the suggestion seriously. "Will yez kitch me?" he demanded. "Sure, an' I'll do that," Mike agreed. Pat clapped his arms in imitation of a rooster, and crowed, to bolster up his courage, and leaped. He regained consciousness after a short interval, and feebly sat up on the pavement. He regarded Mike reproachfully. "For why did yez not kitch me?" he asked, and the pain in bones sounded in his voice. "Begorry," Mike replied sympathetically, "I was waiting for yez to bounce!" The woman wrote a reference for her discharged cook as follows: "Maggie Flynn has been employed by me for a month. She is an excellent cook, but I could not afford to make use of her services longer." The husband, who was present, afterward expressed his surprise at the final clause.
Prev.
Back
Top