The sixth letter of the alphabet. It is formed by the passage of the breath between the lower lip and the upper incisive teeth, but that doesn't seem to worry it any.

   FABLE. The story a man thinks his wife believes—and she lets him think it.

   FAD. See hobby.

   FADE. To gradually disappear. For example: "I had ten plunks when I went out last night, but they faded away." (Lord Palmerston, page 21.)

   FAKE. Something we buy to make sure it isn't on the level.

   FAITH. Something which is said to move mountains, but the railroad contractors always mix in a little dynamite to help matters along.

   FAULT. Something which is so easy to find, but it is so hard to give it when we find it.

   FAMILY. The only cure for race suicide.

   FAVOR. Something we do for a friend so he can forget about it.

   FLATTERER. A man who makes friends until he begins to talk about himself.

   FORGER. A man who tries to make a name for himself, but who picks out the wrong name.

   FRIEND. A man who knows you are a liar, but hopes otherwise.

   FRIENDSHIP. The name of the handle some people put on other people for the purpose of using them.

   FOOTBALL. A system of manslaughter very fashionable with boys. From the Latin words "footibus," meaning "

    put the boots to him

   ," and "balloona," meaning "up in the air, or, who hit me with a public building?" A body of college students surrounded by ambulances. For instance:

    Sing a song of football

    Pockets full of salve;

    Four and twenty legs all

    Punctured at the calve.

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