know of, eh!

   EAR. A place which hears a great many things which should never have been said.

   EARTH. An orange-shaped ball hanging in space and inhabited by two classes of people, to wit: kickers and more kickers.

   EDEN. The garden where Adam and Eve baked the first apple pie and pied the human race.

   ECSTASY. A state in which the mind is carried away. For instance, if you are in a runaway automobile, you are in

    ecstasy

   until you hit a telegraph pole; after that you're in a hospital.

   EGOTIST. A man who uses his brain for the purpose of believing that he is the greatest ever.

   ELBOW. Something you give a man you don't like.

   EASTER. A season of the year devoted to new bonnets, overcoatless young men and pneumonia. A tide in the affairs of women which, taken at the pocketbook, leads on to the milliners.

   ELOPE. A hurried trip taken by two lovers for the purpose of wiring Papa for funds to get home.

   ELOCUTION. A disease which breaks out among students, but which is fatal only to the spectators.

   EMPLOYER. A man who has a soft spot for a hard worker.

   ENVY. The root of much criticism.

   ECONOMY. A system practiced by some men which permits their wives to wear last year's dresses so that they can buy better cigars.

   EXPERIENCE. The best of all teachers, because it's impossible for the scholar to run away from school.

   Fine feathers make fine birds take to the woods.

   Failures made by other people pave the road to your Success.

   Fortune wears rubber shoes and a feather pillow on each hand when she knocks on your door.

   Fair play is a jewel, but so many people can't afford jewelry.

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