BAA. To make a noise like a sheep.

   BOW-WOW. To make a noise like a dog.

   BIFF. To make a noise like a boxing glove.

   BAGGAGE. Two shirts, some underwear, one suit of clothes, six collars and a hair brush which you lost somewhere between here and Chicago.

   BAD ACTOR. A man who is egged on by ambition and egged off by the audience.

   BADINAGE. Light or playful discourse. For example. "Why does a chicken cross the street? Because the butcher."

   BAR. A place where men go to get a thirst so that they can go there again to quench their thirst.

   BEETHOVEN'S SONATA. An excuse some women use for beating the face off a piano.

   BIGAMIST. A man that adds one and has two to carry.

   BLONDE. An abbreviation of peroxide of hydrogen.

   BREEZE. A condition in the atmosphere which generally arises on a cold day, to make it colder and stays away on a hot day to make it warmer.

   It is supposed to inhabit the windows, but when you look for it on a Summer night all you can see is the "gent" next door chaperoning the growler.

   BUNDLE. A load of preserves. From the Norwegian

    bun

   , meaning high tide. "Yesterday he annexed a

    bundle

   and this morning he sits on the front steps singing soft lullabies to a hold-over." (Shakespeare, page 18.)

   Charity begins at home and ruins its health by staying there too much.

   Children who are wayward grow up to be the people who fall by the wayside.

   Coogan says there is no place like home—and he congratulates the other places.

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