Consistency is a jewel, but it isn't fashionable to wear it.

   The third letter of the alphabet. It is also used in music, especially by

    prima donnas

   who try to reach it and fall flat.

   CAB. A machine invented for the purpose of going somewhere, but which seldom gets there. An inland tugboat.

   CAD. A shine with an extra polish on.

   CALAMITY. A loud-mouthed individual who insists upon telling stale jokes.

   CASH. The stuff we work for, work other people for and are worked for. Synonyms: Bones, Cash, Coin, Dough, Ducats, Long-green, Mazuma, and 1,000 others.

   CHARITY. Something which begins at home and stays at home every day except Sunday, when it goes to church to talk about itself.

   CINCH. When a man starts out with a bundle of money and a bundle of booze it's a cinch that he drops the money first.

   COLD FEET. A punishment for those that stand around and wait for dead men's shoes.

   COMPLIMENTS. Things which some people fish for hard enough to catch a sea-serpent.

   CONFIDENCE MAN. The noblest work of fraud.

   CONCLUSION. Something a woman jumps at in the same manner in which she jumps off a street car—which is backwards.

   CONSCIENCE. The alarm clock on a man's mind which is seldom wound up.

   CONSISTENCY. A jewel which isn't appreciated as a Christmas present.

   CONTENTMENT. A large, open-faced gentleman telling his friends how he self-made himself.

   COPPER-FASTENED CINCH. A good-looking widow who has made up her mind to marry again.

   COURTSHIP. Love's excursion boat just before it strikes the rough sea of matrimony.

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