room.

   It feel like I'd got up a rung or two on the ladder alreddy, cos the edither thot my peece wot I rote bout the intervue was good, and its goin to be put in to-morrer mornins paper. I rite it down in your pages, Mister Diry, so as I can look at it wen my hart grows weery strugglin for fame and wriches:

   "After xchangin good mornins, the

    Buster

   reporter sed:

   "'Mr. Perkins, youre one of the biggest liars in America, aint you?'

   "'Who sed I was one of 'em, yung man?' sed he, gettin mad, and comin over to were I was sittin, like he was goin to formally interduce his patent lether pumps to the paches wot I sit down on. 'Who sed so? Name him instanly, and I'll brand him as an infamous liar. Me, one of the biggest liars in America. It's mene, to, contemtabel. To think that I shuld hav toiled a life to stablish a reputashun, only to be classed as one of the biggest liars of America. No, young man, you're rong. I am the grate I am liar of the unyverse.'

   "By this time our reprysentative was feelin like he'd mistakin his callin, but musterin up courage, he sed:

   "'Mr. Perkins, I'm a yung aspyrant for jurnalistic onhers. Can you give sum points on the bizness, wot I culd use to advantage?'

   "'Yes, my son, you becher bottom dollar, I can. Alwus bear in mind that the three furst principels of moddern jur-nalism is Prevaricashun, Eggsaggeration, and Magnifycashun. For instance: If Tallmage, in his sermin, sez he b'lieves there's a hell, you want to be sure to rite it up thusly: "Rev. Tallmage, havin just returned from a short visit, held his hearers spellbound for a hour, yesterday morning, by his grand and vivid discripshun of the mildness of the climat of a salubrous summer resort" This wuld be a excellent illustrashun of Prevaricashun.

   "'Eggsaggershun would be like this: If a candydate of the oppersishun treats a fellow to a glass of beer, you wanter say: The barrel's ben tapped, and fabulous sums are bein expended to inflooence voters, and never forget to hed the artickel Fraud, Corrupshun, and Forgerry.

   "'If a six-pound baby comes to one of your subskribers, you warnter size the farther up, and if he's good for twenty-five 

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