hedlines, wot red: "Terribel Calamyty! J. Gould, the Ralerode King, Falls Outer Bed and Sustains Fatul Injuries."

   The managers of the other noosepapers was orful mad, and maid all the citie reporters hand in their resignashuns, cos they wasn't smart enuf to each the item.

   Down in Wall strete there was a reglar pannick. The Beers was jest as happy as they culd be, and most all of 'em maid there fortunes before dinner, cos all the stock went down like led. Jest wen a lot of the bulls was goin' to bust up and pay ther creditturs 5 cents on the dollar, who should walk inter the Xchange but J. Gould himself. You never seen such a surprised crowd enyw'ere; they all thot it was his gost till he 'xplayned that it warn't him wot fell outer bed a tail He sed he know'd he was purty late gettin' down town, but they must 'xcuse him, cos he was kep up purty late, calkin' up a cask of "Western Union Water" wot sprung a leek.

   The 'xcitement's beginnin' to ware off now, but you bet the

    Buster's

   got a big lot of free advertising and Mr. Giliey warn't a bit mad, wen I 'xplained how it all happened, cos the Wall strete beers is goin' to s'port him for Guv'ner, cos the

    Buster's

   made 'em all wrich.

   Jimmie's allrite agin; he was only stunned, and he got out of bed in time to get down to the telegraf offis. I feel orful proud of my chum now. I never know'd how much he was valewd before. You see now, Mr. Diry, wot a boy makes of hisself when he 'sociates with a risin' yung jurnerlist, like yours trooly, Georgie.

   I didn't write nothin in you last nite, Mr. Diry, cos me and Maria—that's my gal—was takin in the furst nite at the theatur.

   Jest wen I was lee vin the offis the edittur called me aside and arst me if I thot I was capabel to report the furst performance of "Hosiery Henryettur, or A Boom in Fancy Goods," cos the dramattick edit-tur had gone and got mashed on the latest perfesshunal buty from Cleveland, and warn't fit for duty.

   I sez: "You becher sweet neck, I can."

   So he give me a cupple of "comps" and a led nickle for to buy candie and peenuts with. Wen I got home I drest up in my Sunday-skule cloes, and went round and wated wile my gal was puttin on her bandyline and rubbin her face with a red sawcer wot she 

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