bout 250 pounds, & her bussel was as big as a Ellerfants. The case was gettin desprit for me, cos I'd agreed to bring hum a report of the performanse. The furst part was jest bout over; the blonde artist was singin a solo, and the audiense was so interested that they all stood up. I seen the time had cum for acshun, so I stood a pepper box wot I had in my pocket on the seet. Soon as the ladie went to sit down, she hadnt calkerlated on eny obstercal, and didnt try to control her gravytal momentum, so she cum plump down on top of the pepper box. A loud, roarin sound, then a terrer-bel xploshun shuk the buildin, and the air was filled with flyin debris, woman, pieces of cloes, hoopskirt, hat, buttins, little bits of rubber bussell, strings, and things innumer-abel and unmenshunabel. I never seen such a reck in all my life. The ladie landed right in front of the minister, were sum of the quire girls run to her rescue and kivered her up with shawls, puttin her in a carriage and sendin her home. Soon as the reck was cleered and order restored, the minister sed:

   "I came here this mornin with no idea upon wot subject I shuld speek, trustin ontirely to Providense to reveal to the con-gregashun and myself a sootabel one. You see, my heerers, for yourself, my trustin has not been in vane. My text will be: 'And Eve bort a Bon Ton System, and maid herself a fig leef pollynays, cut a la Princesse, and trimmed with dandylion ruchin and sun-flower brade. Then she fleeced a he ram, and of the wool thereof she formed a big bussel, and Adam got mashed on her fine does, and she turned up her knoes at the washerwomans darter wot didnt have on nothin but a palm leef jursey, wot fit her too soon.'

   "You ladies are all alike, and you get your line of dress, from a purty long and direct line of ancestry. I dont think a fine dress is a sinful appendage to eny lady, in fact I like to see a ladie drest well, but to be drest well, a lady ort not to practise deceit, or act a lie, for there is such a thing as actin a lie. Now bussils are the devils perticklar delite, cos there a form of deceit, in fact, I verily beleeve the devil is in every bussel, and actin on the Biblical advise, the ladies all say, 'Get thee behind me, Satan.' Hereafter, air balloon bussles will be considered contraband, in this church, and ladys suspected of carry in them, will be subject to a serchin, and rigid xaminashun, before bein admitted."

   Tomorrer is eleckshun day, so tonite the Republercans hav been havin a gran free strete exhybishun. I'll be orful glad wen the eleckshun is over, 'cos the xcite-ment, & late hours, attendin the campane, is weerin out 

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