And chews and chews and chews,

     And turns them into friendly meat,

      And pleasant boots and shoes.

    But the “Friendly Cow” may in her secret heart regard the classification as anything but friendly. For all we know, in the hidden scheme of Creation, the Cow may herself be the subject for ultimate evolution into the Perfect Being, and Man (to reverse Darwin), descending through the Ape to ever lower planes, only a discarded experiment.

    And the Tobacco Plant? In the course of time there may be no Tobacco Plant.

    Should the American People be again tempted to wage a World War for Freedom, they may find on their return that the Tobacco Plants have gone to join the Grape Vines of California!

    Our only hope will then be that smoking is permitted in Hea——*

    * The Author

     is

    digressing.

      The Reader.

     What is “Friendship”?

     Why is the Cow “friendly”?

     Is the Oyster friendly?

     When Prohibition is applied to tobacco will cigars containing less than one-half of one per cent tobacco be permitted?

     THE EQUATOR

    The Earth is self-centred. Poised on an imaginary toe, she pirouettes round her self-centre, at the rate of over a thousand miles an hour.

    We say imaginary toe because the Earth, owing to the enormous size of her waist, has never been able to see it.

    To anyone with a waist measurement of twenty-five thousand miles the very existence of toes is purely 

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