Mr. Dooley's Philosophy
It must be
clear to him be what news he hears whin th' other pigrim father, Sinitor
Hoar, calls on him in th' three where he makes his home, that what
Kentucky needs now is wan an' on'y wan stable govermint an' a little
public peace. He might restore peace at home an' abroad be cuttin' in,
but th' poor la-ad has other things to think iv. I'd like to see him. It
must be near a year since he had a shave or a hair cut, barrin' ridges
made be bullets as he cleared th' fences."

   "It looks to me as though th' raypublican is wr-rong," said Mr.

   Hennessy, with the judicial manner of a man without prejudices.

   "Iv coorse he's wrong," said Mr. Dooley. "He starts wrong. An' th'
dimmycrats ar-re r-right. They're always r-right. Tis their position.
Th' dimmycrats ar-re right an' the raypublicans has th' jobs. It all
come up because our vinerated party, Hinnissy, ain't quick at th' count.
Man an' boy I've taken an intherest in politics all me life, an' I find
th' on'y way to win an iliction is to begin f'r to count th' minyit
ye've completed th' preliminaries iv closin' th' polls an' killin' th'
other judges an' clerks.

   "Th' dimmycrats counted, but th' count come too late. Be th' time th'
apparent an' hidjous majority iv th' raypublicans was rayjooced to
nawthin' an' a good liberal, substantial, legal an' riotous dimmycratic
majority put in its place be ordher iv th' coorts, th' commonwealth iv
Kentucky an' Jack Chinn, th' raypublican has been so long in th'job an'
has become so wedded to it that ye cuddent shake him out with a can iv
joynt powdher. It seems to him that there niver was a time whin he
wasn't gov'nor."

   [Illustration]

   "Th' dimmycrats get together an' call on that learned an' incorruptible
joodishary that's done so much to ilivate the party into high office,
an' whin th' dure iv th' saloon is locked they say 'Bill,' they say,
'we're bein' robbed iv our suffrage,' says they. 'Th' hated enimy has
stolen th' ballot an' thrampled on th' r-rights iv th' citizens,' says
they, 'in the southern part iv th' state faster thin we cud undo their
hellish wurruk in our own counties,' they says. 'They now hol' th'

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