"Not much, shohly not much," he declared, shaking his

   head. "Dat ain't no church for me. No' suh! Dey wastes too much time readin' the minutes ob the previous meetin'."

   The little boy was clad in an immaculate white suit for the lawn party, and his mother cautioned him strictly against soiling it. He was scrupulous in his obedience, but at last he approached her timidly, and said:

   "Please, mother, may I sit on my pants?"

   *    *    *

   The mother catechised her young son just before the hour for the arrival of the music teacher.

   "Have you washed your hands very carefully?"

   "Yes, mother."

   "And have you washed your face thoroughly?"

   "Yes, mother."

   "And were you particular to wash behind your ears?"

   "On her side I did, mother."

   The young man at the summer resort, who had become engaged to the pretty girl, received information that led him to question her:

   "Is it true that since you came up here you've got engaged to Billy, Ed, George and Harry, as well as me?"

   The young lady assumed an air of disdain.

   "What is that to you?" she demanded.

   "Just this," he replied gently. "If it's so, and you have no objection, we fellows will all chip in together to buy an engagement ring."

   Isaac and Moses dined in a restaurant that was new to them, and were pained seriously by the amount of the check. Moses began to expostulate in a loud voice, but Isaac hushed him with a whisper:

   "'Sh! I haf the spoons in my pocket."

   "Would you like a lock of my hair?" asked the gallant old bachelor of the spinster who 

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