*    *    *

   A mouse chanced on a pool of whiskey that was the result of a raid by prohibition-enforcement agents. The mouse had had no previous acquaintance with liquor, but now, being thirsty, it took a sip of the strange fluid, and then retired into its hole to think. After some thought, it returned to the pool, and took a second sip of the whiskey. It then withdrew again to its hole, and thought. Presently, it issued and drew near the pool for the third time. Now, it took a big drink. Nor did it retreat to its hole. Instead, it climbed on a soap box, stood on its hind legs, bristled its whiskers, and squeaked:

   "Now, bring on your cat!"

   *    *    *

   The owner of a hunting lodge in Scotland presented his gamekeeper with a fur cap, of the sort having ear flaps. When at the lodge the following year, the gentleman asked the gamekeeper how he liked the cap. The old man shook his head dolefully.

   "I've nae worn it since the accident."

   "What accident was that?" his employer demanded. "I've heard of none."

   "A mon offered me a dram, and I heard naething of it."

   *    *    *

   The old farmer was driving home from town, after having imbibed rather freely. In descending a hill, the horse stumbled and fell, and either could not, or would not, get to its feet again. At last, the farmer spoke savagely:

   "Dang yer hide, git up thar—or I'll drive smack over ye!"

   *    *    *

   Mrs. Smith addressed her neighbor, whose husband was notoriously brutal, and she spoke with a purr that was catty:

   "You know, my dear, my husband is so indulgent!"

   And the other woman retorted, quite as purringly:

   "Oh, everybody knows that. What a pity he sometimes indulges too much!"

   *    *    *

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