enough they found Honest Old Abe splitting rails with his two boys.
It was a grand, a magnificent spectacle. There stood Honest Old
Abe in his shirt-sleeves, a pair of leather home-made suspenders
holding up a pair of home-made pantaloons, the seat of which was
neatly patched with substantial cloth of a different color.  "Mr
Lincoln, Sir, you've been nominated, Sir, for the highest office,
Sir—."  "Oh, don't bother me," said Honest Old Abe; "I took a
STENT this mornin' to split three million rails afore night, and I
don't want to be pestered with no stuff about no Conventions till I
get my stent done. I've only got two hundred thousand rails to
split before sundown. I kin do it if you'll let me alone."  And
the great man went right on splitting rails, paying no attention to
the Committee whatever. The Committee were lost in admiration for
a few moments, when they recovered, and asked one of Honest Old
Abe's boys whose boy he was?  "I'm my parent's boy," shouted the
urchin, which burst of wit so convulsed the Committee that they
came very near "gin'in eout" completely. In a few moments Honest
Ole Abe finished his task, and received the news with perfect
self-possession. He then asked them up to the house, where he
received them cordially. He said he split three million rails every
day, although he was in very poor health. Mr. Lincoln is a jovial
man, and has a keen sense of the ludicrous. During the evening he
asked Mr. Evarts, of New York, "why Chicago was like a hen crossing
the street?"  Mr. Evarts gave it up.  "Because," said Mr. Lincoln,
"Old Grimes is dead, that good old man!"  This exceedingly humorous
thing created the most uproarious laughter.

   I hav no politics. Not a one. I'm not in the bisiness. If I was
I spose I should holler versiffrusly in the streets at nite and go
home to Betsy Jane smellen of coal ile and gin, in the mornin. I
should go to the Poles arly. I should stay there all day. I should
see to it that my nabers was thar. I should git carriges to take
the kripples, the infirm and the indignant thar. I should be on
guard agin frauds and sich. I should be on the look out for the
infamus lise of the enemy, got up jest be4 elecshun for perlitical
effeck. When all was over and my candydate was elected, I should
move heving & erth—so to speak—until I got orfice, which if I
didn't git a orfice I should turn round and abooze the
Administration with all my mite and maine. But I'm not in the
bizniss. I'm in a far more respectful bizniss nor what pollertics

 Prev. P 16/70 next